GRAND HAVEN, MI — Grand Haven officials are monitoring a dramatic increase in the city’s skeleton population after more than 150 five-foot skeletal figures appeared throughout Downtown and Centertown with little indication they intend to leave before late October.
The influx is part of Bones About Town, a new community event running through October 23 and culminating in a Fall Festival on October 24.
Residents are being encouraged to remain calm.
“We’ve dealt with seasonal population increases before,” said Deputy Director of Skeletal Affairs Brian VanderKooi. “Usually it’s tourists. The skeletons are actually easier because none of them are looking for parking.”
The figures have been decorated by participating businesses and organizations and placed throughout town, creating what organizers describe as a festive fall attraction.
Others have raised questions about how a community of approximately 11,000 residents acquired 150 additional skeletons without triggering any apparent investigation.
“Nobody seems particularly concerned about where the bones came from,” said local resident Jennifer DeWitt. “There’s just one sitting outside a business wearing a hat and we’re all supposed to vote on it.”
City officials confirmed that each skeleton is approximately five feet tall, making them considerably shorter than the average adult but still tall enough to create an uncomfortable moment when encountered unexpectedly after dark.
The skeletons are competing for public votes in three categories: originality, funniest and scariest.
The Ledger has learned that no category exists for “Most Likely to Be Mistaken for a Person While Driving Home at Night,” despite what appears to be a remarkably competitive field.
Voting continues daily through noon on October 23.
This has led to concerns about possible election interference.
“We take the integrity of skeleton voting very seriously,” said Ottawa County Assistant Deputy Commissioner of Decorative Elections Paul VanLiere. “Every skeleton deserves to know that its vote was cast fairly, even though technically the skeletons aren’t voting. People are voting for the skeletons.”
VanLiere paused.
“We’re still working through the language.”
Campaigning has reportedly intensified as the deadline approaches.
Several skeletons have been seen standing outside local businesses for hours at a time attempting to attract votes, a practice election officials acknowledge is technically allowed.
At least one has remained in exactly the same location overnight.
“That’s dedication,” said VanLiere.
Early polling suggests the Funniest category could be particularly competitive, although analysts caution that skeleton-based polling remains notoriously unreliable because respondents tend to have very little body language.
The Scariest category presents a different challenge.
Judges must somehow determine which decorated skeleton is more frightening than the realization that it is already October and winter is approximately nine minutes away.
Local businesses have embraced the event, with skeletons appearing in costumes and displays throughout the community.
Economic development officials are optimistic the newcomers could provide an important boost during the fall shoulder season.
“They don’t eat much, they don’t require housing and they photograph well,” said Director of Seasonal Commerce Rebecca Mulder. “Frankly, if we could get them to spend money downtown, we’d consider extending their stay.”
The skeleton population is expected to remain stable through October 23 before gathering for the October 24 Fall Festival.
What happens to the 150 skeletons after that has not been publicly discussed.
Residents are advised not to ask.
